


Food is not a Universal Language

by calibratingentropy



Category: Epic (2013)
Genre: Cross-cultural, Food, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-05
Updated: 2013-07-05
Packaged: 2017-12-17 18:14:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/870507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calibratingentropy/pseuds/calibratingentropy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>MK gets hungry on the flight to Nim's and it turns out that one man's emergency rations might be another's dessert. But as usual, her first experience in cross-cultural cuisine could have gone more smoothly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Food is not a Universal Language

**Author's Note:**

> For another story I came up with a possible diet for Leafmen, and this little drabble just itched its way out because of how different and unusual most modern humans would find this idea for their food. I'll put my idea for the leafman diet down in the ending notes, just for fun.

"Are we there yet?" MK didn't care that she had just asked. The hummingbird was more comfortable than the sparrow, but her butt was starting to hurt, her throat was dry, and she was starting to get really hungry. It had been barely noon when... all of this had started, and now it was getting close to twilight. She wanted to turn over the pod, get big again, and go home to eat. She hadn't eaten since, since last night actually. Aw man, she knew she shouldn't have skipped breakfast before getting on the plane this morning. 

There was snickering from the direction of the sparrow, and she wasn't sure if it was Nod or one of the slugs--well, the slug or the snail. In front of her Ronin stiffened, and there was a sharp undercurrent to his voice. Whoops. "We are two crowns closer than the last time you asked."

It probably wasn't a good idea to annoy the only person between her and a long, long fall. Even if he wouldn't because of the pod life-of-the-forest thing, MK didn't want to take any chances. But she was so hungry. "I'm sorry. It's just been a really long day, and--"

And her stomach had just rumbled. Loudly. 

There was a moment of silence, but at least Ronin's voice had gentled a little. "Are you hungry?"

"We must stop immediately! Get this bird landed, leafboy!" And there went the slug, Mub, wasn't it? He was squirming around on the bird and Nod looked like he was having trouble keeping them all in the air. 

"We can't let such a precious, _beautiful_ person faint from lack of food." 

"Mub-- I'm not..." None of them had eaten since this had started either, and MK felt almost ashamed at not being able to tough it out.

"If I get you something to eat, will you stop asking that question every hundred beats?"

MK felt a surge of gratitude. Food! Man, what did they even eat? A french fry would probably be as thick as her neck. "I think I can manage." 

She could really go for a hamburger right now. Hold the vegetables and extra cheese. It was unrealistic, but just the thought of Ronin pulling a hummingbird into a drive-thru made her giggle. Ronin had turned around and was raising an eyebrow. 

"What? Oh. Uh. I was just wondering where you'd even get food, and the image of what would happen if you tried at home, I mean, where I come from, and--" She coughed, trying hard to stop the giggling and look serious. "Nevermind." 

One side of Ronin's mouth turned up, tugging into a lopsided smile. "I can imagine the disaster in the waiting. But you're in luck." 

Then he was guiding the bird down into a branch, with Nod bringing the sparrow around a moment later. Nod didn't look pleased, for some reason. "Not that! Anything but that. Come on, that stuff is awful, and if you give me a minute I'm sure I can pick up a fresh berry or something! She's not a soldier, so she really shouldn't have to--"

"If she's hungry, she'll make do." 

That shut Nod up, but now MK was really worried. What if the mystery food was...bugs, or something? Eugh. She didn't know if she could eat bugs, even to be polite. Even as starving as she was. 

Ronin gave a wave of his hand, indicating she get off the bird and-- Huh. Secret compartment in the saddle, neat. Well, not secret, because she could see it really clearly now that she was looking for it, but it was still neat. When Ronin held out the tiny leaf-wrapped package to her, though, she had to swallow hard out of nerves. 

It was going to be bugs, she just knew it. But when she pulled open the leaves, there were some round flattish--they looked almost like cookies. They were dark brown and hard to the touch when she poked one. She tried breaking a piece off one and it snapped in half with a loud crack and lots of crumbs. 

Ronin and Nod were both staring at her. Way to make a girl self-conscious. "What is it?" 

"Soldier's biscuit. It's not the tastiest food, but it will tide you over until we get to Nim's, unless you aren't hungry anymore?" 

The way Ronin said that, with a smirk and all challenging-- MK wasn't going to let him win. Bugs or not, she was going to show him. She popped it into her mouth, expecting the worst and glaring at Ronin. 

It wasn't like anything she would have expected. Crunchy, but the flavor was mild. Sweet, even. Not sweet like a donut or anything, but definitely sweet. Kind of-- MK didn't know what it reminded her of, but the flavor was almost vaguely familiar. She just couldn't place it. MK grinned at them as she crunched up the biscuit. She'd never have guessed a biscuit, wait, wasn't that what some people called cookies? "Oh, I get it now! You thought you could pull one over on me. Biscuit, huh? Very funny." 

The only problem was that it was sucking the moisture right out of her mouth. MK coughed, and tried to swallow but that only made it worse. "Just... any water?" 

Nod snapped out of confused staring and started patting himself down. "Water, uh-- Sure. Wait. Damn."

"There's a stream not far from here. It won't take long." 

At least Ronin was on top of things. MK tried to say thank you, but started coughing instead. She was going to be so embarrassed when her mouth didn't feel like the sahara. 

Ronin just shook his head at her, and pulled out a small bottle. Flask? He handed it to her. "Take just a sip; it will--"

Water! MK was going to do more than take a sip. She needed water now. And oh _man_ , the taste was bitter and _burned_. MK nearly bent over, still coughing but for a different reason. Ow. The lingering taste made her tongue feel almost furry. She didn't protest when the flask was snatched out of her hands. "That-- That wasn't water." 

"Of course not!" Nod had the gall to laugh. "Ronin warned you. You should have seen the look on your face--"

"I will _get_ you--" 

"Blackberry spirits are meant to be sipped." Ronin was smiling too, out from behind the hand he'd put to his forehead. 

MK could only glare for a moment, trying to swallow down the taste. At least her mouth wasn't so dry anymore, but now she had that weird furry taste to deal with. It almost tasted sweet, in a weird way, once the burn started to fade. But on the bright side, at least the slugs hadn't said anything.

"Don't let them get to you, baby. Come over here, and Mub will show you how to drink." 

_Why?_

MK swore her face was bright red the whole flight to the stream, but once she had water to drink, and Nod had suggested dipping them into it to soften them a little first, the cookies were really good and surprisingly filling for cookies. All right, she had to ask. Please don't say bugs--

"So what's in these?" 

"Just acorns, water, and a little maple sap. They're twice baked in leaves to make sure they don't start to turn too quickly." Ronin was smiling again, and it would have been nice, if she wasn't sure he was trying not to laugh at her.

"Don't let him tell you that the leaves help the flavor. Nothing could make those better." Nod was still looking at her with an adorably confused expression. Had she just thought of him as adorable?

"We _really_ need to get you some real food. I don't know what you've been eating, but if you think those are tasty..." He just trailed off, shaking his head. 

MK was still stalled on the idea that she'd been eating acorns. Better than bugs, but it was hard to keep a straight face, imagining Leafmen eating like squirrels. "Acorns, really? Well, at least it's not ground bugs or something." 

"Bugs? Ew! Who would eat ground bugs?" Well, Nod's response certainly helped her feel better about her own disgust. 

But it also made her curious. "So what _do_ you guys eat for meat?" 

And now Ronin was pulling a face, but it was Nod who spoke. "Meat? What do you think we are, Boggans?"

He looked actually offended, and MK winced. Whoops again. "So you're vegetarians? That's cool. I'm sorry; I guess I just assumed--"

"You eat meat?" 

"Um. Yes?" She didn't like where this was going, and when Nod took a step back, giving her a weird look, it hurt a little. 

Ronin stepped in, and she had never been more grateful. "She's from somewhere else, Nod. Boggans aren't the only creatures to eat meat. Besides, the sun will be setting soon and we've delayed enough. Mount up." 

And that was that, but the whole rest of the way to Nim's tree, MK felt like there were glass shards in her stomach. When Nod flew up to her, and he really was a good flyer to manage that, MK thought, she was afraid of the worst.

Instead he just ran his hand through his hair. "Look. I'm sorry about earlier. You just surprised me. But it's, uh, cool. I'll just have to show you real food when we get to Nim's. You have to try pickled dandelion root, and acorn cakes with roasted cherry, and--" Mub was trying to speak up, and Nod raised his voice to be heard over the slug. "I'm sure you'll love it." 

"Sure. Okay." He was sweet, he really was, and MK didn't have the heart to tell him she'd be big again and gone when they got there. Instead she listened to Nod and the slug tell her about all kinds of weird foods they wanted her to try, and tried to keep up a smile. She really wanted to go home, to familiar food, and familiar sizes and... familiar everything.

**Author's Note:**

> So, in this story, they are vegetarian and their primary staple is acorns, which provide a decent nutrient base (high and complete protein!) and are easily storable over long periods without too much preparation. They supplement with other tree nuts, like beechnuts, hickory nuts, butternuts, and hazelnuts. Once the acorns have been leeched of tannins, and ground up (big work for tiny Leafmen), they can be eaten coarsely ground plain much like humans do with whole nuts, or really finely ground and then made into all kinds of things, like the biscuits mentioned in the story (which are Leafman versions of hardtack), mashes, and as a base for soups. Other nuts are used similarly, but aren't as common.
> 
> Their other staple would be a variety of greens and roots from plants like dandelions, burdock, cattails, wild leeks, wild mint, chickweed, plantago, thistle, wood sorrel, and others.
> 
> Other foods are edible fungi--usually cultivated instead of foraged for--a variety of berries, (like wild strawberry, raspberry, blackberry, blueberry, elderberry, mulberry, and sheepberry), maple (in the form of sap, syrup and sugar), and fruit. These would mostly be wild cherries (both chokecherry and black), crabapples, and things like rosehips. They also occasionally incorporate fruit from vagrants of human cultivated species like domesticated apples, plums, and others that would have been grown in orchards and gotten lucky with seed dispersal. Formerly domesticated fruits would be a rare treat, because they would only have access to maybe only a tree at best, instead of more common and usually hardier wild native species.
> 
> Drying and vinegar pickling are their primary methods of preserving. They also make a lot of jams and jellies. And of course, ferment a lot of varieties of fruit, and possibly even have acorn "beer."
> 
> Leafman cuisine would probably taste weird to modern humans--who use a lot of salt in too many things-- because they tend to favor either very sweet or sour/bitter flavors and tend to disdain salty. They also don't have much access to most herbs and spices used commonly today in cooking, except again, as rare vagrants escaped from human gardens.


End file.
